Tease.

I really fucking hate dick teases
and women who flirt knowing they have a situation with a boyfriend/fiance whatever. Don’t fucking go out of your way every day to rub up on me and hug on me at work then say you only want to be friends and you don’t want to fuck me or my girlfriend. Don’t make sexual comments via text then tell me your boyfriend “read your texts and doesn’t appreciate how you allow me to talk to you”, I honestly don’t give a fuck. You tell him about the pictures you sent me? You tell him how you text me while he was at work when you went to NJ to visit him or how you always text at wee hours of the fucking morning? All in all, I hate to be a nigga, but if you ain’t giving up the pussy LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE. My dick doesn’t have the time.

Crutch

I get a little more than pissy when I'm used. Like I hate when people want me only as a crutch. Just enough to get over their physical injuries or emotional woes then never talk to me again or limit conversation. People who only contact me when they're in need of help. Won't respond to texts or IMs unless someone hurt you emotionally, or you need a favor or assistance or someone to keep you company while your body heals. People who visit just to pass time then once they're better off they don't hit you up or return any form of communication. Like I'm not the one who fucked you over and have you feeling shitty about yourself or the one who broke your collar bone or the one who controlled your life to the point where you had no place to live. I'm the one who sat with you and calmed you down, I'm the one who was there for you and helped you out and around while you convalesced, I'm the one who offered you somewhere to stay. I'm steady treated like I'm everyones fucking emotional nurse, then afterward never any general or casual conversation, unless it all occurs again. They just expect me to be that support they need. Sick of that shit and I refuse to do it anymore. Miss me with all of it. I'm cutting a ton of folks off and out.

Control

Obviously I can't complain because I'm guilty of it as well, but what is it with people letting other people treat them shitty and control their lives? Like...this person is oppressing you...and you keep them on a pedestal. I know of way too many people who go through this. I've sat with them during the pain, tears and sometimes suicidal moments. The agony they put themselves through for someone who can care less about them. This attracts you? This is what you think "love" is? People say its 'daddy issues' and other factors but I've seen women/men with great backgrounds fall into this pit. Do you think you can change that person? As much hurt as they cause, why would/do you stay? I've been there, giving my all to someone, holding them in high regard when they shit all over me. What did I do? Clean the shit off and keep going, keep trusting and keep loving. Why I did it was because I thought I saw the good in a woman or I accepted it all as karma from the horrid things I've done in the past. This was of course until I realized that I didn't need to sacrifice myself to pay penance. We all need to wake up. one or two good days don't make up for the months of torment. I have a friend now TRAPPED in a marriage, always wrecking her brain about what to do. Why work so hard for a person who could care less whether you're happy or miserable, living or breathing. Stop squandering your physical and mental power on another when you could be bettering yourself.

Change

Been a while since I posted. I was told to get back to it. So much has gone n though I didn't ever think I would be back to normal. Fuck, I still don't think I am. I still have this sense or worry or doubt. I know it isn't good but the shits still there. I thought that when a change occurs it was for the better? I don't know, seems like that as a person, I have changed for the worst in my eyes. I mean, I don't know how the hell I can even consider my screen names as factual, evilth1rt3en. I'm the most nicest fucking considerate person you'll ever know now. I hate this shit. I said two years ago moving to the East Coast has made me soft. I can't honestly even call myself an asshole anymore. Some people might read this and think of it as good. You know, I'm getting older, more mature, growing up. I'm not comfortable with it. Not saying I want to be this bitter evil villain or what not, but I can't say I'm honestly happy with the me I have become. There's some good in it however, my tempter, while still fiery as fuck, has calmed down a lot more. I don't flip out over as many things as I used to. Granted I will still fuck someone up in a heartbeat. I try to think of the consequences more so now than in the past. Still working so thats good, gettin paid less because of an issue with student loans but that's a whole nother topic. Got rid of my twitter. The shit was just boring. I outgrew it. Shit had'nt been fun REALLY since 2009. Too much annoying shit taking place. Lost a dip me and my girl had over some thirsty nigga/ex-coworker who I considered a friend to soon. Got into a car accident last June, I hate the fucking car I have now so much you don't know. I think that aslo has something to do with my moods as of late. Signing off right now, just wanted to give a quick update. I thank everyone who has been reading for as long as they have. There will be much more to come. Feel free to comment on or pass along any of my older posts.


Ryan