My Thoughts

My brain is the strongest device in my body, and often it works against me. Things may seem one way but in reality are completely different. I can't see it though. I cant take anything for what it truly is. There always HAS to be some underlying circumstance. My brain often sabotages many things in my life. Because I see something for what it is, but I always have the tendency to over analyze for the worst. I said in an old blog on myspace, that when im sad....the worst place in the world I can be stuck is alone with my thoughts. They ALWAYS eat me alive. No truer words have ever been spoken. Its like I never want to under think, because often that's when I am taken advantage of. There's no middle ground. All I can do is over think. Im greatful when the thoughts are correct, but more often im embarassed and disappointed when I've over thought something. I don't know why or how I let my thoughts take over but they do. Its very painful. They cause this paranoia I cannot contain. Its a frustrating deal. I hide a lot more than I let people know. Particularly because I've never been someone who dies for attention, or wants the world's pity for their problems. I just wish I could contoll it, before I fuck up more good things in my future. My problems are mine, and as tough as they are I MUST find a way to conquer them.