Comfort

Too many times have I been in fucked up situations in my life. No one to blame but myself. Times where i could have and should have spoke up i didn't. I just let too mush shit pass by and "ride with it". Though I haven't felt comfortable in my own body for some time now. I'm talking years. Now I don't mean no sex change bullshit lol I mean the fact that I haven't lived care free or without fear or worry of future events. I haven't been at a relaxed state. Overall haven't been comfortable with...me. That's some serious shit right there. Mentally it fucks with you a great deal. Not so much physically, I've done my best to keep/stay in shape. Sure situations have added to this, but again, it's no one's fault but my own. The type of individual I am was built through the muck I've placed myself and what I have dealt with. So how can I really complain? Sometimes I feel as if I don't have control, as much as I do. Granted in any problem I have had, as always, I'm 5 steps ahead. It's rare that something happens that I don't suspect or that I am not prepared for. When it does happen however I stumble.