I don't want it on my shoulders. I've had it in the past, twice, and if I don't ruin the situation it goes bad on its own. Couldn't bare it at all. I tried and failed miserably. Once I had it, and turned a perfectly beautiful woman into a demon. All because of my actions. True, no one person can fully control another, but persuasion is a key factor. Its not on purpose. I swear to God (which I never do) that its not on purpose. But I can not be held responsible for ruining another perfect human being. Until I can make the correct decision, my life, relationship wise is on indefinite halt and hiatus. My conscious barely lets my mind rest because of all the drama and insanity and torment I've caused in the past. Not again. Never again. I won't allow anyone else to be hurt. Albeit not said, I DO deeply love and care about the person(s) I am/were/was involved with. However until I can find the correct way to express it without bias, or any other mitigating circumstances, I must hold off. I apologize, but this is for the best.
A little hurt now, is much better than a greater amount of hurt later....
-Ryan H.
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